Jewish Family and Children's Service offers a divorce mediation program for couples undergoing the dissolution of their marriage. Divorce mediation is widely considered to be a more positive and empowering process than the traditional attorney-driven process.

The process is straight forward and far less intimidating than affidavits and court room appearances. The couple meets with the mediator, three or four times on average, to thoughtfully consider their future apart. Key issues are identified such as child custody and financial considerations, and solutions are mutually agreed upon. The mediator is a skilled and impartial participant and control over the outcome is fully vested in the couple.

Dan Simon has been providing divorce mediation services for JFCS since September of 2000. An attorney who also has a master's degree in counseling psychology, Mr. Simon has found that even couples who are extremely distrustful of each other can benefit greatly from mediation. "People assume that mediation only works for couples who already are in general agreement about things like child custody and money. But I feel especially helpful to couples who are at their wits' end with each other, because they're the ones who would suffer the most in the traditional legal process. If the couple can take that first step of agreeing to meet with me, they're often amazed at what they can accomplish."

The fact that each person is taking part as a willing participant has a very positive effect on the process. Because the agreement is mutually developed and agreed upon, the potential for future conflict is reduced. If conflict does arise in the future, couples have greater confidence that they can handle it themselves. And, in the worst case scenario, they can always return to mediation instead of getting attorneys involved. Also, divorce mediation usually leads to an agreement much more quickly thand does attorney-driven negotiation.

The costs for divorce mediation are typically much lower than the traditional process. JFCS' Divorce Mediation Program fees are determined by the family's household income and size, and number of sessions needed to complete an agreement.

One of the most dramatically positive outcomes of divorce mediation is its gentler impact on children. Mutually agreed upon resolutions, reduced conflict, and lower costs invariably result in a more amicable dissolution of the marriage and less strife for the children during and after the divorce.

For more information about divorce mediation, please call JFCS at 952-546-0616 or Dan Simon at Twin Cities Mediation at 612-824-8988.

FROM JFCS "COUNSELING CONNECTIONS" JULY 2003